If you suspect your man is cheating on you, you are probably correct in your assumption. It only becomes a problem when he will not be honest with you about his affair and you are not confident enough in your assumptions to break off the relationship. That’s when you have to get crafty and do a little bit of investigating on your own in order to catch a man cheating.
As strange as it may be to have to follow someone around and snoop on them you have every right to try to catch him cheating if a monogamous commitment was made and you are feeling that he is having an affair. I won’t even mention the diseases floating around nowadays and the potential of him bringing home some fine viral infection as a present. I’ve posted my proven (unfortunately) techniques to help you to get to the bottom of things. I hope they help you in your quest to find a little honesty in your relationship.
How do I catch him cheating?
1. Randomize your schedule. Show up at his work unexpectedly for a “missed you” visit. Leave for scheduled trips early and return home to grab something you “forgot”. Note any shock you may cause by this randomization or any other oddities you may unexpectedly stumble over while being so “random”.
2. When he gets home give him a big “missed you” hug. Note any strange odors that may be present such as perfume or the smell of sex. Take a good look at him and note any obvious signs such as lipstick or hickies (eww).
3. Check for dirty laundry! Yep, that’s right. Go through his dirty clothing. Check through his pockets for any indicators of foul play such as receipts, phone numbers etc. Give his underwear a good sniff. Do they smell like sex?
4. Check for unusual phone numbers. Check the phone records and his cell phone for unusual phone numbers. See if he’s calling one of your girlfriends. If you suddenly see a strange number appearing frequently google it and see if it comes up with a name. If you can’t find the phones owner by googling it, spend a few bucks and do a paid reverse phone directory search.
5. Be snoopy. When he’s not around rummage around through his bags, pockets, the trash cans, drawers, any standard place where things tend accumulate and be forgotten. Look for anything strange such as movie ticket stubs, condom wrappers, parking receipts, phone numbers, hotel receipts or dining receipts.
6. Men who are having an affair often try to hide there activities by using text messaging. They believe that they can just click “delete” and everything is erased. Wrong, deleted text messages are stored on the phones sim card for some time after deletion. Recover and read deleted SMS (text) messages using a sim card spy. This could give you some excellent insight indeed!
7. When men have affairs, they have to start spending money. So become an expert on your finances. If they’re not shared, you’re going to have to start snooping through pockets for receipts. If he says he’s doing a lot more work on the car, and your finances are shared, ask for receipts.
8. Does he spend a lot of private time on the computer? He could very well be chatting with his accomplice online. Those conversations could be a goldmine of information for you. You could download the readily available key logging software that everyone is pushing but it is easily detected as a process on the computer. I would recommend purchasing a hardware key logging device. With a USB keylogger you simply plug it in between the keyboard and the computer and you will have every word (including logins and passwords) captured so that you can return to it at your leisure and find the “good stuff”. How often do people check the back of their computers?
9. You could always follow him around to see where he goes but, this can be a huge pain in the rear and you probably aren’t Mrs. Smith either. Do the smart thing and put a GPS tracking device on his vehicle. A tracking device will enable you to watch his vehicle movement online and in real time. Implementing this tool could provide you with all the information you could ever need. You would be surprised, the costs involved have become very reasonable as technology is filtering down to the public.
10. As odd as this may sound you can actually check for the presence of semen in his underwear! If he has semen present in his underwear and you haven’t had sex with him for a couple of days or so, something is wrong.
A semen detection kit only takes a few minutes to use and gives lab quality results.
You should have no problem confirming any doubts that you may have using the tips provided above. If you finally nail it down and are able to catch him cheating go out and do some things to make you feel better about yourself. Get your hair done, nails done, do some tanning or some shopping. Whatever it takes. Make him regret what he’s done by looking as hot as possible and feeling as great as you can about yourself.
It seems to me that cheating men often share a few qualities.
Some personality qualities of a cheating man include:
- Erratic or unpredictable behavior not just in the relationship but in life as a whole.
- Poor decision maker.
- Can be very irritable or impatient when things don’t go the way he planned.
- Enjoys teasing or harassing you.
- Stubborn and resistant to any ideas that come from you.
- Engages in impulsive behavior at times and seems to be wrapped a little bit too tightly.
- Pessimistic, mostly looking at the downside of things in life.
- Goes off on rants and raves and seems to whine about a lot of things in life.
- Goes through periods of times where he is feeling very low, almost chronically depressed about life.
- He may be moody at times.
- Is a manipulator and is often unpredictable.
- Has a poor relationship with his family.
- Has difficulty with intimacy because his irrational behaviors often push people away.
- Is irresponsible with alcohol or abuses drugs in prescription form or street form.
What do you think?
]]>Linkin Park - From The Inside lyrics
Don’t know who to trust
No surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust
And the lies
Trying not to break
But I’m so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how
Trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me
I take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
‘Cause I swear
For the last time
I won’t trust myself with you
Tension is building inside
Steadily
Everyone feel sso far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way
Out of me
I won’t trust myself with you
I won’t waste myself on you
Waste myself on you
You
The big problem here is that if he is halfway computer literate he will know that this software is running on his PC and your “cover” will be blown. Try it, hit the ctrl+alt+delete keys and hold them down simultaneously. A window will pop up, this is the Windows task manager program. Next click the tab entitled “processes”. Listed there will be every process (program) currently running on the computer, visible or not.
If he finds this “process” running on his computer and finds out what it is, your “cover” will immediately be blown and you will most likely have complications to deal with. Don’t use the “magical” spy software. Only use hardware based items to log keystrokes.
]]>I’ve come up with a list of the most common signs and have listed the good and the bad possibilities.
- Intuition
- Sudden Increase in Attention
- Electronic Communications
- Poor communication
- Sex is better than ever
- Acts defensively
- Friends start talking
- Changed interests
- Projecting that you are the cheater
- Things just aren’t making sense
Suspecting that something is up is often the first sign for many women. Admittedly intuition is not a particular thing that your man is actually doing, but you know that something doesn’t feel quite kosher - often you have noticed some of the other signs subconsciously.
The good: It’s possible your intuition could be wrong. Do the two of you communicate well? Perhaps he is going through some sort of stressful event.
The bad: Hunches have been proved to be correct more often than not. If instinct is telling you that he could be up to no good, then keep your eyes and ears peeled for some of the other signs.
He is suddenly more interested in you than normal. Maybe buying presents for you unexpectedly or starts helping you to take care of the children more than usual. He may even start doing more around the house, vacuuming, washing dishes, or those nagging jobs that have been left unfinished forever.
The good: Have you been going through a bad spot lately? Your man could have decided to make more of an effort in order to make things right - positive thinking is important in marriages.
The bad: He is feeling guilty and wants to make up for the fact that he’s been having an affair. This sort of thing often happens in the early stages of an affair.
Technology has enabled people to communicate so effectively, this not only means that it is easier to have an affair, but there are also many more places to be caught out. You may discover that your man has email accounts you never even knew existed, or that he has two phones and you only know one number.
Another sign is when he starts taking calls and walking out of the room, possibly telling you it’s work, and begins to act defensive when you get near his mobile phone.
The good: His work has put him on call when he’s at home, given him a company phone and your man doesn’t want to interrupt anything that’s going on or perhaps doesn’t want background noise while on the phone.
The bad: His fling is sending him texts or emails while you are with him and he’s trying to cover them up. Be very careful if you choose to snoop because if there really is nothing going on then it could make you look really bad.
This is almost the total opposite of him being overly interested in you. He might have completely lost interest in what you have been up to during the day, doesn’t kiss or hug you very often or has stopped saying that he loves you or, at least like he means it.
The good: He could just be under high pressure at work or could he be depressed? Often this could explain mood swings or lack of interest and it’s possible he won’t realize why he is suffering.
The bad: If he starts becoming less interested in you and your feelings, then it’s often a strong indication that he’s getting his emotional feedback somewhere else. When the kissing stops in a relationship, it’s often seen as a huge warning sign.
You man is suddenly absolutely amazing in bed. He’s a new man, it’s like when you first met, or better. Maybe new foreplay techniques, or a new sex position you have never even heard of let alone engaged in with your man.
The good: It’s possible he’s doing some research and has and discovered some new sex tips and thought he would try to spice things up a little at home. You couldn’t possibly complain about that!
The bad: It could be that he’s learning new tricks in bed with his mistress and is suddenly feeling like he is the stud.
You ask him a question and he acts very defensive. Even simple statements like ‘wow, that sure took a long time’ make him very jumpy.
The good: There is always the possibility that he could be planning something special for the two of you or perhaps shopping for a special gift for you.
The bad: He knows that he’s guilty of something and can’t quite figure out how to respond to questions that could reveal his affair.
Not necessarily something he’s done but friends and family could begin to notice something is a little off and start asking questions.
The good: You are going through some hard times and you feel a little edgy with company.
The bad: If more than one of your friends notices changes and starts asking questions about your relationship it may be time to start thinking about it yourself. Sometimes it’s easier to see things when you are looking from outside the box.
Has your man began listening to new music, buying new clothes or suddenly expanding his horizons culturally?
The good: There is a possibility that he’s going through some sort of mid life thing. He may just be feeling a little old and wants to rejuvenate himself with fresh things.
The bad: His mistress could be introducing new things to him. You know how it is. You start hanging out with new people and you pick up new things.
He asks if you are cheating on him or makes accusations that you are.
The good: It’s possible that if the two of you are going through a rough spell in life and are having some difficulties that he may wonder if you are.
The bad: It’s very common for people who are cheating to accuse their partners of the same actions. I couldn’t remember the term for it at first but eventually it popped up in my head - projection.
Projection - The attribution of one’s own attitudes, feelings, or desires to someone or something as a naive or unconscious defense against anxiety or guilt.
Has his reliable old routine suddenly changed? Are there no obvious changes in his work schedule but he’s coming home late at night? Did a friend of his mention not seeing him for awhile when your man had told you he was out with that very friend just the other day?
The good: Things could be changing at work. In these economic times it’s possible they could be making cutbacks and he could be stuck with a ton of extra work.
The bad: Once someone starts to weave a web of lies, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep up with those lies, so when unexplainable things begin to happen or you notice inconsistencies, there could be something not very innocent as an explanation.
Remember, none of these signs offer proof by themselves that your man is cheating. They are all just simply indicators that you should pay attention to. Your next step is up to you but I would recommend paying a little more attention to the details if you have the feeling that your man is cheating.
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I’ve witnessed both sides of the infidelity coin. I’ve known friends that had affairs and I have had a husband that has cheated on me. I realize now, how painful it is to be on receiving end of infidelity.
When I was in my late teens, I had very traditional values. Things were either right or they were not. Looking back now, I have to admit I was very judgmental. I had never been involved in anything that could be considered a serious relationship, yet I thought I knew everything.
If a girlfriend had come to me back then and asked me what she should do about a boy who had cheated on her, I would have said “dump him. If she had not done it, I would have stood by her as a friend, but would secretly think that she was either stupid or crazy. I grew up though and my outlook changed.
My ages old friend told me this when I asked for her story about her cheating:
If you ask me now why I cheated, I can’t come up with anything better than I was young, dumb and careless with others feelings. I was unhappy in my relationship, but felt that I couldn’t express it to him. I took the easy way out and lived to regret it at the end of the day, when I looked in the mirror and saw someone I could no longer respect. It shocked me when I thought how easy it was to make that mistake. A lingering look, a touch, a kiss was enough to unravel a relationship that I only realized I wanted after it ended, with two broken hearts. He still won’t talk to me now or return my phone calls or emails.
I can relate to her feelings to an extent, because I too, remember an evening when someone I cared for deeply looked me in the eye and said, “I slept with another girl”. Even now, a long time after it has occurred, I cringe at the thought. I’ll never forget the very moment when I was told, and I will remember it for as long as I live. “How, how do you do this to someone?” is all I could think.
I certainly did want to know ‘how’, along with ‘was she prettier, better, great in bed’…how did she compare? What did they do? Where did they do it? Most importantly – why? These are all tormenting questions. Some should definitely be answered, others are sometimes best left alone.
My first instinct had been to tell him to screw off and never step foot on my doorstep again. I’m glad I didn’t now, but for some, telling him that your husband needs to go away may be the best thing that ever happened to them. It’s one of those situations where you don’t know until you are living it.
It’s very important that you know the truth about your relationship. Not knowing the truth can be much more torturous that actually knowing what has happened.
Is he cheating…
Behaving strangely?
Acting secretively?
Displaying the signs of a cheater?
Let’s not kid each other.
You think he is a cheater and you probably recognized some of the signs.
Are fooling yourself thinking…
“Infidelity can’t happen to me.”
“He could never do that to me.”
The sad truth of the matter is that your husband just might be having an affair.
Trust yourself and find out if he is really having an affair.
You have the rest of your life to live and you shouldn’t live it with a cheater!
Catch a cheating husband with me!
I want to help.
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